As always, candidates will be checked in five categories; read the criteria here.

From rags to riches: Merkel was born in Hamburg, but moved to East Germany in her early childhood, when her father, a priest, was offered a job there. He occupied a leadership position within the church, but his wife wasn’t allowed to work as teacher and stayed at home to raise Merkel and her two siblings. After studying physics and working at the German Academy of Science, Merkel joined the reformist GDR government after the Wende and later became a minister under Helmut Kohl and eventually CDU chairwoman and Chancellor. While raised by academic and well-off parents, the extra hardship of having to grow up in the Zone and then making it in the Alphamale-dominated CDU give Merkel a well-deserved one and a half Obamas.

Diversity:  Merkel can only score with her gender here, a half Obama.

Vitality:  She is in her second marriage and has no children. A witness says he saw her take a swim, but no photographic evidence has emerged. A half Obama.

Web 2.0:  Neat website, 16,816 Facebook supporters (more than twice as much as her SPD opponent) and a sophisticated social network that allows grass-roots organizing. She did regular video podcasts during her tenure as Chancellor and has no Twitter account.  Near perfection, two Obamas.

Policies: Merkel supported the stimulus package passed at the start of the year, supports the current Afghanistan mission and has been ambiguous about admitting Guantanamo detainees. She wants moderate tax breaks for most Germans and no tax increase for top earners. One Obama

Total:

With the candidates of the five major parties now tested, let’s take a look at the final score:

5th Place: Guido Westerwelle

4th Place: Oskar Lafontaine

3rd Place: Renate Künast

2nd Place: Frank Walter Steinmeier

2nd Place: Angela Merkel

When there’s a tie at the Olympics, both contestants get a gold medal. No such easy cop-outs here! Sorry, Angie and Frank, but there’s only one Obama and you’re both not even close.

From rags to riches: Steinmeier’s father was a carpenter from Brakelsiek, his mother a factory worker and refugee from Breslau. He was the first member of his family to attend a Gymnasium and get the Abitur and later studied law in Gießen. In 1991, he began to work for Gerhard Schröder and eventually followed him to the chancellery. One and a half Obamas.

Diversity: Nada. Zero Obamas

Vitality: Steinmeier played in the local soccer club for ten years (nickname: “Prickel”), is married and has one daughter. One Obama.

Web 2.0: Clean website, 4,690 Facebook supporters, no Twitter and a real social network, that actually allows user interaction. Easily the best performance thus far, one and a half Obamas.

Policies: Steinmeier supported the German stimulus package, supports the Afghanistan misson and was one of the first to call for German admittance of Guantanamo inmates. One and a half Obamas.

Total:

With five and a half Obamas, Steinmeier takes the lead in our competition. Will he able to hold onto it with only Chancellor Angela Merkel yet to be tested? Find out very soon, here at tapmag!

You can find all the posts of this series here.

From rags to riches: Künast was born in Recklinghausen to a auto  mechanic and a nurse. She first studied social work and was employed in a penitentiary before she began studying for her law degree. One Obama

Diversity: Nothing to report here, but since women are still underrepresented in German politics she gets a half Obama.

Vitality: Künast likes inline skating and running and eats healthy, but admits her work keeps her away from regular exercise. She has no children. One Obama.

Web 2.0: A neat website, Facebook account with 1,848 friends, no Twitter and a social network that looks good, but is more of a glorified mailing list. One Obama.

Policies: Künast wants Germany to accept Guantanamo inmates, she supports ISAF (unlike the Green Green Party’s  base) while opposing OEF and wants a strong stimulus with more green elements and without tax cuts.  One Obama.

Total:

With four and a half Obamas, Renate Künast is the top-points-getter in our series so far but still miles away from total Obamaness. Will Vice-Chancellor Steinmeier of the SPD get there? Check back soon.

Here is the video (in German). Scot mainly talks about the differences between American and German interpretations of free speech, the rights and duties of the press, and how the Internet undermines German privacy rights via American websites. Good stuff.

German politicians craving for voter attention hope to get at least some of that Obama-glamour for themselves. We will test how obama (new adjective!) the candidates of the five major parties really are.

In five categories, the politicians can get up to two Obamas each, with a total maximum of ten Obamas. Here is what we’re looking for:

From rags to riches: Obama was raised by a single mom, living off food stamps at times. His father was out of the picture for most of his life. He graduated from public high school and eventually got degrees from two Ivy League schools, Columbia and Harvard. To gain Obamas, candidates need to come from humble beginnings and faced hardships on their way to the top.

Diversity: Obama’s father was from Kenya, his mother from Kansas. He grew up in Hawaii and Indonesia, and has relatives living across the world. He married a woman from the South Side of Chicago. To score in this category, candidates should diverge significantly from the typical German politician.

Vitality:  Obama is 47 and exercises daily. He regularly plays golf and basketball and managed to raise two daughters despite his career. Candidates need to appear youthful, be physically active and ideally have produced offspring to get Obamas here.

Web 2.0: The Obama campaign revolutionized campaigning on the Internet. His website features its own social network, he’s active on YouTube, Twitter and the like and has over 6 million Facebook supporter. German candidates need to come close to that for maximum Obamas.

Policies: Obama supports a strong stimulus package to restart the economy, with both big spending and tax breaks for the middle class. He plans to raise taxes for the rich and has announced to increase the troop presence in Afghanistan. Obama wants Europeans to admit some of the detainees of the soon to be closed Guantanamo Bay. Policies are always the trickiest to compare. Candidates are checked for their position on economic stimuli and taxation and on their stance towards the Afghanistan War and detainee admittance.

So who is the German Obama? We begin with the candidate of the Free Democratic Party (FDP), Guido Westerwelle.

From rags to riches: Westerwelle was born in Bad Honnef, his father is a lawyer, as is his mother. That’s a triple fail, zero Obamas.

Diversity: He is a white, ethnic German male, but then also gay, gaining him one Obama.

Vitality: Westerwelle is three months younger than Obama, he likes beach volleyball and mountain biking. He has no children (sure he’s gay, but he could have adopted). One Obama.

Web 2.0: A website straight from 1999, no Twitter account, 1,266 Facebook supporters and no own community. A half Obama.

Policies: Westerwelle called the German stimulus package unsuitable and instead advocated tax breaks across the board, including for rich Germans. He supports the Afghanistan mission, but not sending additional troops and said Guantanamo inmates are mainly the concern of the U.S. A half Obama.

Total:

With only three Obamas out of a maximum of ten, Westerwelle clearly failed the Obama Check. Wanna know whether the other candidates fared better? Check back next week, when we test Oskar Lafontaine of the Left Party.

You can find all the posts of this series here.

Several sources report that U.S. President Barack Obama will anounce Phillip D. Murphy, a former investment banker with Goldman Sachs, as the new U.S. Ambassador to Germany.

Murphy, 52, has been in charge of the Democratic Party’s finances, after he left Goldman Sachs in 2006. As an investment banker, Murphy has headed the German branch of Goldman Sachs in the 90s, and was involved in several deals with the Treuhand-Anstalt.  He will replace William R. Timken, who has left Berlin in January.

Atlantic Review points out that the new man in the American embassy is a board member of the U.S. Soccer Foundation, which sounds like he might enjoy a smooth start in Berlin.

As the global economic crisis questions many long-hold beliefs about American and European economic policy, the U.S. press has discovered that some answers might be found across the Atlantic. Germany offers a fine case study for the advantages as well as drawbacks of increased government interference to bring the economy back on track.

Here is the Wall Street Journal’s take on the social security net in the U.S. and Germany, embodied in two workers who have to face the economic downturn. The German worker, upon loosing his factory job, decides not to cancel his vacation in Cyprus, because his income will be secure. His American counterpart has to evaluate his complete budget to find out where to make cuts. The article is an informative read, well backed up with statistics.

Atlantic Review, in reaction to the WSJ article, points out that while the American system offers a more flexible labor market, that makes sure the economy can bounce back fast after a recession, the German system creates less panic during the recession. The question is, in which system do we want to live?

TIME Magazine has devoted the cover of its European issue to answer “What Germany got for Its $2 Trillion.” The main example is Halle, a town that has been successful in stimulating industry and job growth with money from the reunification fund, even if success simply means loosing less jobs and population than other former industrial centers of the GDR. There are three lessons for the U.S. to be drawn from Germany’s attempt to spend its way out of a major economic slump:

“[T]hrowing money at an economic meltdown isn’t a cure-all.” Two decades after the fall of the wall, former East Germany still lacks behind economically. 20% of the German population live here, but the region accounts for over 30% of Germany’s unemployed.

“[B]ig spending packages don’t work if the economic policies underlying them are miscued.” The decision by Chancellor Helmut Kohl to exchange West and East German currency 1:1 sabotaged the competitiveness of East German industries.

“[S]pending so much money in such a short time is bound to be wasteful.” This one is a no-brainer. Try getting a year’s worth of shopping done in one day. Then see how much of the stuff you bought you will actually need. Chances are, you got yourself a Cargolifter.

What can the U.S. draw from this? Mainly that expectations for the American stimulus package should not be too high. There will be failure. Also, failing fiscal policy can partly be blamed on monetary policy not being in step. Ideally, the two should be carried out in unison.

At the same time, the discussion about culture as the determing factor for fiscal policy is still raging on. Phillip Stevens at the British Financial Times thinks that Europe’s reaction to the crisis is fearful. His main point is that the stimulus needs to be bigger, but he also argues that “Americans are happy to take risks while Europeans strive to avoid them. This is as often reflected in their respective economic performances during good times as in their reactions at moments of crisis. Gamble-everything entrepreneurs are much more likely to be found on the US side of the Atlantic.”

At the same time, Roger Cohen, reporting actually from Germany, thinks the opposite. Writing in German in the Sueddeutsche Zeitung Magazin, he has recently proclaimed that German Angst is over. Looking at the traumatic 20th century, the biggest economic crisis since the 1930s will not cause mass panic with Germans, Cohen concludes. In fact, the Americans are the ones who are shuddering now, while they witness the American empire falling apart.

As we have said before, the political process is a little more complicated than gross stereotypes like this one want to make you believe. Dear Mr. Stevens, if you want to make the point that the European stimulus needs to be bigger, focus on why the governments oppose your idea, and argue against them. Blaming it all on cultural differences is a logical shortcut that leads you off the track.

German swimming pool: Too many rules?

„President Obama’s approach to the financial crisis has been typically American — bold, improvisatory and on the fly. The Germans have been studied and measured, evincing a far greater trust than the Americans in their social-security system to patch the cracks in the foundation of their economy.“

„Of course that is due in part to the famed German aversion to excessive deficit spending, stemming from gut-level fear of a repeat of the hyperinflation of the 1920s. But there is also the German adherence to rules, love of a good plan and cautious, thoughtful approach when it slowly becomes apparent that a return trip to the drawing board may be necessary.“

It‘s true, we love rules. They make daily life more efficient. They enable us to drive our cars at top speed on the Autobahn, which means doing at least 200 kph (124 mph). This of course only works, if you can be sure that everyone will play according to the playbook, in this case the holy StVO. Slow drivers and trucks use the right lane, middle class cars drive in the middle lane, and the finest examples of German engineering are always to be found in the left – or express — lane. Tractors can use the shoulder, but no one else.

But do we actually think our economy can be handled like Autobahn traffic?

There are some points that speak to it. Economists like to say that when Americans drive a car against a wall, they try to figure out how to get around it as quickly as possible. Germans study the texture of the wall to find out how to dematerialize it. The idea that what was right just moments ago now is wrong, clearly causes discomfort to the German soul.

But does the love for analysis and discussion accurately predict the response of the Merkels and Steinbrücks to the economci downturn? No, perfectly epitomized in the latest addition to the German dictionary, „Abwrackprämie“. The measure gives buyers of new cars a € 2,500 subsidy if they scrap their old car in return.

The procedure is highly unfair. Other Industries have no chance to lay their hands on the stimulus money. Upmarket carmakers do not see their sales spur, because it is mainly buyers of compact cars who fall for the bait. Everyone who always wanted to buy a new car but has no old one at hand, will remain without a ride. Even used car dealers and repair shops complain, because their markets are shrinking due to less old cars on the streets and fewer demand for used cars.

However, the government has just decided to extend the budget and timeline for the program. This despite concerns from the opposition that the measure merely shifts demand from later years to today — demand that will be missing during a possible economic upswing in the future. It’s efficiency is contested as well, as many of the newly bought cars are manufactured in Eastern Europe and Asia. This attempt to get the economy going again clearly speaks against the careful deliberation Germans are supposed to like so much.

Then there is the fact the German economic system is better prepared to take a hit in bust years. The vast provision of welfare and unemployment pay (compared to the U.S.) is a sort of automatic stimulus package in its own right. These automatic stabilizers start to work as soon as the first wave of lay-offs hits the Federal Employment Offices. Then, the government budget increases even without the need to pass stimulus packages, simply because more people access these funds.

On the other side of the Atlantic, the U.S. Congress has to pass more spending bills to reach a higher level of spending. Plus, the U.S. state governments are subject to stricter spending rules which prevent excessive deficit spending on state level, thus exacerbating the problem. The bottom line is: Germany has to do less to match U.S. spending levels during a recession simply because we have a more developed welfare system.

Berlin-based journalist Ben Perry points out some more arguments against the idea that the German love of rules is behind the slow response to the crisis:

„The fact is, though, this is caricature and a tired caricature at that. For every German who wouldn’t dare cheat on his taxes, I can show you one who has made tax evasion an art form (let alone running off to Switzerland, as Kulish mentions). If there is such a strong desire for order, could someone please tell me why Germans are completly incapable of forming a simple single file line, ever? What’s so orderly about all the sidewalk dog crap?—something I don’t complain about but plenty of folks do. And on the government level, America’s essentially two-party system looks practically monolithic compared to the chaotic jumble of Germany’s multi-party coalition makers.“

In the end, as Ben Perry also notes, if the Germans are reluctant, risk-averse spenders, who prefer government bonds to the stock market, what does this tell us about Americans in the light of their trillion dollar stimulus packages? That they are imprudent spenders, who delay their financial problems until their credit card bill hits them over the hat and they have to go into foreclosure? Maybe there is a kernel of truth hidden in every beaten cliché.

By Kolja Langnese

Yesterday, public broadcaster Das Erste started airing “Satire Gipfel” (full video), which replaced the slightly more bearable “Scheibenwischer” that ended its 28 year run last year. The makers, who apparently had difficulties coming up with a grammatically correct name for their show, wanted to move away from the “SPD cabaret” that “Scheibenwischer” supposedly practised. They’re off to a bad start.

“Congratulations, you’ve won a new satire show,” show runner Mathias Richling opened. Yes, apparently we should be grateful that Das Erste is spending our license fees on such a astute show. The inaugural issue of “Satire Gipfel” featured five performers, ranging in quality from bad to worse.

After the ailing Ingolf Lück, who back in the 90s moderated the pretty funny “Wochenshow“, spent roughly ten minutes on the Abwrackprämie (exciting stuff!), “up and coming”  comedian Philip Weber quickly returned us to the constant of German satire: U.S.-bashing!

Examples: “At last, the American troops are returning home from Iraq. If they find their way back!” or “A plane crashed into the Hudson River and no one blamed Al Qaeda. Under Bush, everyone would have said that those were Islamic  suicide-geese!” Ha, ha! Too bad that it did happen under Bush because this story is over two-months-old news. It got a little bit better afterwards, but only because Weber “borrowed” Chris Rock’s “bullet control” sketch from 1999.

Richling saved the evening from total disaster with an acceptable impression of Germany’s new minister for the economy zu Guttenberg. During the show, the director made a point of constantly cutting to Ulla Schmidt, the health minister sitting in the front row, who was apparently enjoying herself, a sure sign that the makers didn’t do their job properly.

“Satire Gipfel” was followed by alleged late night show “Schmidt & Pocher”, hosted by Oliver Pocher, who is actually pretty good a spoofing popular culture, and Harald Schmidt, who is supposed to be pretty good at spoofing politics but who has long passed his date of expiry. Pocher will leave the show in April, so that Schmidt, in the words of producer Fred Kogel, can reach his “full potential” in the election year 2009, making a show with “sophistication and intellect, comparable to Jon Stewart“.  Only problem is that Schmidt returns from his summer break  on September 17th, ten days before the election to the Bundestag.

Das Erste’s main competitor, ZDF, also a public broadcaster, airs the monthly “Neues aus der Anstalt“, where hosts and guests play patients and doctors of a mental hospital who comment on the madness outside their walls. It really sounds funnier than it is.

The only decent satire outing on German TV, extra 3, is buried on the regional channel NDR, ironically airing on the same time slot as “Satire Gipfel”.

So what’s stopping people from producing a fun and politically relevant show? And it’s not like there isn’t enough material to work with. We also have two 24h cable news channels (n-tv and N24) and two business news channels (Bloomberg and Deutsches Anleger Fernsehen). Plus, one edition of “Anne Will” should keep even a moderately gifted satirist busy for a week.

Instead, politics are most likely to blame. German politicians treat the public broadcaster like their own private press office, as exemplified by the current dispute over Nikolaus Brender, news director of the ZDF. CDU forces under the leadership of Hesse’s governor Roland Koch want Brender out, ostensibly due to declining ratings of the news programs. Critics say Koch wants to install a CDU-friendly person as Brender’s replacement.

That’s actually not as shocking as it should be. It is common practise that the big parties, who sit on the boards of the public broadcasters, divide influential positions between them. It is only due to Koch’s ineptness at doing so that this turned into a public spectacle.

So it’s understandable that few people inside the broadcasters have an interest in hard-hitting satire. After all, angering your party-aligned overlords is bad for the career.

But, the creative minds of the CDU didn’t not stop there. tapmag can’t help but recognize the new logo from some other quite successful campaign…

The German election 2009 might look just like the US election 2008—literally.

(via Subjektivitaeten)