tapmag thinks that the Eurovision Song Contest is a far too complex concept to be understood in American terms of entertainment shows. Americans watch American Idol to see good acts and funny rejection clips. Europeans tune in to Eurovision for a lot of reasons, but not to discover awe-inspiring new singers.

We want pseudofolkloristic bands in nonsense costumes, eurotrash glam from the Balkans, a sense of socially shared television moments that has been long gone since the Internet arrived, and of course one of the last places being reserved for Germany.

The Eurovision Song Contest is meta-show that allows us Europeans to reflect on our own awkward cultural backgrounds, giving us a chance to come to terms with the lowbrow elements of European culture. By laughing about our neighbors’ ridiculous ideas of a good show, we establish connections that foster understanding and solidarity which transcends borders.

But of course, it’s far easier to denounce this expression of humility, humanity and the understanding of dignity that arises from it as the simple lack of musical talent. Kent Jones, a little humbleness suits everyone, especially Americans.

The Scent Of A Human: Eau De Schwinn?

The Gray Lady wonders this morning if New York can truly (re)vert — or reinvent — itself into Neue Amsterdam via bikes. Her focus du jour is the Dutch “It” bicycle , and the question is that of how to look delicious(ly continental) while doing so.

It suggests looking like the guy pictured here… in which case I heartily approve.

However, trembling under those textiles is the unSPOKEn (10 point pun, don’t you agree?)dialogue in this aestheticised vision of a psuedoeuropean paean to fashion a la bicyclette: that is, that bicycling leaves one… shall we say… moist?

The “>LEED (Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design) standards from the USGBC (United States Green Building Council) — the official granter of “green” status to all things architecture and design — award points to both commercial and residential with bicycle parking facilities. So too does its pragmatism include SHOWERS in these aforementioned parking facilities, so as to allow one’s workers to… freshen up… before a day in the office.

But few of our offices have such amenities, and not everyone is going to stop at the gym before work. Besides, let’s be honest — many who bike do so for both environmental as well as financial reasons, not to mention to forego the sterile hamsterwheel-meets-club-con-meatmarket environment of many such facilities.

Which leaves us — even if we are riding lovely $1000 bikes and are nattily dressed — a little, well, RIPE. Remember all the things one hears about Europeans? In addition to fashion and food, there is also: unshaven women! wantonness! bidets! Yes folks, the Europeans [stage whisper]: touch themselves in that private place.  Every day.  To WASH. Which means a whole slew of things involving accepting dirt, sweat, autosexuality, the human production of juices and so forth and so on.

The real question to pose is: are we ready for the sweaty, higher libidoed, pungent masses? For it’s not something that turns me off — or most Continentals I’ve met, for that matter (don’t forget the wantonness!) but its something we at least keep the illusion of keeping out of the offices, schools, and other fine establishments. Restaurants, your patrons may comingle with your tantalizing aromas not only in their eau d’homme et femme avec cologne et parfum, but so too with eau de… homme et femme. Eau de NOUS. The smell… of US. And we may find that after dinner we want to… take someone home for dessert.

Walter Benjamin, writing in Paris in the 1930’s, queried:
“Who still knows, nowadays, where it was that in the last decade of the previous century women would offer to men their most seductive aspect, the most intimate promise of their figure? In the asphalted indoor arenas where people learned to ride bicycles. The women as cyclist competes with the cabaret singer for the place of honor on posters, and gives to fashion its most daring line.”

For Benjamin, and many of his contemporaries, the image of the fairer sex astride a bicycle was akin to the switch from sidesaddles to that same, er, mounted position in equestrian riding — a not only novel but radical, sexual one. And irregardless of which gender you might admire, there is a notably erotic element in the rosy cheek and heaving lung of the cyclist: when paired with a natty get up (for which Paris then as now was never lacking) the effect is nothing short of arousing.

The mood on the street as these two-wheeled darlings of athleticism and aesthetic aplomb change the pattern of our walking, the speed of our gaze, the rhythm of our breath and theirs — is undeniably HUMAN. They alter the staid concrete and breathe life into our humdrum hours — for there, amongst the mechanical carriages and caverns of steel and glass they move, darting in and out like sparrows, foxes teasing through the hunts’ hooves. And so begins a fissure in the financially-fashioned fabric of America.

When one visits Europe one can’t quite put a finger on what tickles the nose, the skin, what rides in the air of the cities there — is it to bold to suggest this invisible energy is directly linked to the long time tradition of the streets filled with bicycles? To put it shortly — yes. There is an unspoken, unmapped humanity that is exuded from masses of persons who are in very fact “auto-mobile”: a populism, a hint of revolution, an acceptance and demonstration of willed physical exertion. The biker says without a word: in my calves lies the power. Independence of movement releases one from the grid, from the preordained paths, from the nodes of mass transit and the standardized mapping of Place — and so too does the fabric of “knowledge” (what we know and how we know it) further unravel.

The question, then,  is not only what to wear to the Ball of Ourselves, but, are we ready for the party?

By L DeSilva-Johnson (via BrooWaha New York and her personal blog)

The First Ladies of Fashion - Screenshot from vanityfair.com

Now, one would think that when world leaders from 20 and 28 countries, respectively, meet within a week, there would be important issues to discuss. Such as how to save our economies in midst of the worldwide financial crises, how to save Afghanistan from chaos, or how to save the financial industry from new regulations (this last point was only on the agenda of some participants, and seems to pose a contradiction to point no. 1).

But then a graceful, tall, pretty first lady entered the picture and everyone was momentarily blinded. The result was that the focus of the media outlets shifted from world conflicts (they’re so hard to convey to the fast-clicking internet crowd anyway) to Mrs. Obama’s outfits. Scandalously, she wore a cardigan to meet the Queen! This prompted Bonnie Fuller to scream that Michelle Obama has lost her mind! and is suddenly “a fashion disaster”. Wow, good thing we talked about that. Afghanistan – who? (What might be added: Bonnie Fuller – who?)

The Obamamania caught on with “serious” news outlets as well, even though their interpretation was different. Christoph von Marschall of Der Tagesspiegel concludes that the visit to Europe “stabilizes her position.” Michelle Obama’s, that is. As U.S. First Lady, it’s apparently essential to have a stronghold in Europe.  Even the complicated links of international relations were broken down to the questions of which first lady dressed better. The result of this “fashion face-off” varies depending on the observer, so at least the two issues have one thing in common.

In all the marvelling, some publications completely lost their heads and even made German Chancellor Angela Merkel part of the outfit competition. The subheading to their picture (see screenshot) says: “Barack and Michelle Obama pose with French president Nicolas Sarkozy and Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, along with other NATO leaders and their wives at the Kurhaus in Baden-Baden, Germany.” Thanks, Vanity Fair, for informing me that Joachim Sauer has taken over government activites from his wife. I almost missed that.

The Afghans were left to save themselves, but I’m not sure anyone noticed.

Update, April 5: Time has written an interesting analysis about the dissonance between Barack and Michelle Obama’s worlds.

By Jessica Binsch

It is highly recommended reading for everyone trying to keep up with transatlantic culture, global politics, and European and American perceptions of the significant other. Edited by a three men team, including an alumnus of the Free University of Berlin, Atlantic Review has drawn a sizeable audience, as evidenced by the lively discussion surrounding each post in the comments.

tapmag: Who’s blogging on Atlantic Review? What is your background, are you American, European, or both?

Joerg: One American (Kyle Atwell, California) and two Europeans (Nanne Zwagerman, Netherlands and Joerg Wolf, Germany)

tapmag: Which topics do you write about? Who do you write for?

Joerg: All things transatlantic, but especially security issues (NATO, Afghanistan, Russia) and US commentaries on European policies and what Europeans say about the US.

Nanne: We don’t have a detailed concept of a target audience. We write for anyone who is interested in transatlantic relations. I think the blog does a good job of staying accessible but also a bit serious, and I know we have a lot of interesting readers.

tapmag: Why are you blogging? Why did you start in the first place?

Joerg: To promote critical, but fair analysis about the United States and Europe, which is needed to strengthen transatlantic relations in the 21^st century.

tapmag: Soccer or Football?

Joerg: Soccer.

Nanne: Snooker for watching, pool for playing.

tapmag: Which one is your favorite article on “Atlantic Review”? Which one is the most clicked?

Nanne: Our top two posts are about murder rates in the US vs. Germany and a youtube video from the EU that shows European sex. This only shows what people who come to us through search engines care about.

Our third most clicked post is also one of my favourites, and that’s a detailed post about how a German passenger was defamed in the ‘United 93’ movie. This is about addressing stereotypes that exist on both sides of the Atlantic, which is also an important part of what the Atlantic Review has done.

tapmag: Jesus or Obama?

Joerg: Nope, Forrest Gump it is.

Nanne: You’re sure you don’t mean Senator Fulbright, Joerg?

tapmag: Which question would you have liked to answer?

Nanne: Can German bands rock?

Joerg: Can the Dutch win in soccer?

tapmag: Tatort or The Wire?

Joerg: Neither for me.

Nanne: I haven’t watched The Wire.

tapmag: What is your favorite blog?

Nanne: talkingpointsmemo.com by Joshua Micah Marshall & team. This is actually the first blog I started reading, which was in 2003. It’s an example of how far you can take blogging and one of the best sources on DC politics.

Joerg: Tapmag, of course. There are so many blogs that I like for different topics and moods. Here are some of them: New Atlanticist, The Moderate Voice, USA Erklärt, Lifehacker.

tapmag: Thanks.

You can find all blog posts of this series on transatlantic blogs here.

Die Tagesschau rühmt sich derweil, das Video mit den letzten Minuten des Täters nicht gezeigt zu haben – wohl aber ein verstörtes junges Mädchen – während das ZDF erklärt, das “Fälschen im Internet kinderleicht” sei (Video). Na sowas. Fast alle Medien haben inzwischen Fotos des Täters, Bilder seines Elternhauses, nennen teilweise die Adresse eben jenen Hauses, und Bild schießt wie immer den Vogel ab und druckt am Tag nach dem Amoklauf Bilder angeblicher Opfer (!!).

Viele Politiker ergehen sich ganz betroffen in Verbotsideen – Sportwaffen verbieten, Ballerspiele verbieten, Einlasskontrolle an Schulen. Einige dieser Ideen mögen sinnvoll sein, doch die tieferen Ursachen einer solchen Tat berühren sie nicht. Wie es mit 17 war, daran können sich viele scheinbar nicht mehr erinnern.

Die “richtigen” Journalisten haben trotzdem nichts besseres zu tun, als auf den “Pöbel” (stern) zu schimpfen, der seine ungefilterte Meinung und – oh schreck! – unbestätigte Gerüchte über Twitter und andere Plattformen verbreitet. Das machen die “seriösen” Medien natürlich nicht. Dem ist eigentlich nichts hinzuzufügen, doch einige haben es immer noch nicht kapiert.

Nachtrag, 16.3.: Die letzten Tage reichten offenbar nicht zur Selbstreflektion. Der Spiegel setzt nochmal einen drauf, mit Tim K. auf dem Titel. Wenn das mal keine verantwortungsvolle Berichterstattung ist. Natürlich aus reinem Informationsinteresse, nicht etwa aus Voyeurismus (siehe Bild 3 und 4). Da sind die Fotografen des Spiegels nämlich viel besonnener als andere Medienvertreter. Man weiß zu berichten:

“Am Freitagmorgen kam es dort [an dem Ort, wo die Opfer aufgebahrt waren] nach Polizeiangaben zu einem pietätlosen Vorfall: ‘Reporter versuchten, sich den Särgen zu nähern’, sagt [der Leiter der Kriminalpolizei Waiblingen] Michelfelder. ‘Es kam zu sehr unschönen Momenten.’”

Gut, dass der Spiegel sich dem nicht angeschlossen hat. Oder so ähnlich.

Nachtrag, 21.5.: Der Presserat hat die Bild-Zeitung und Bild Online für ihre sensationsheischende und pietätlose Berichterstattung gerügt. Meiner Meinung nach hätte praktisch jede zweite deutschsprachige Zeitung und/oder deren Internetableger eine Rüge vertragen. Aber die Bild, immerhin.

His first entry from July 2004 pretty much sums up his motivation: “This blog serves to support dialogue about culture and politics, with a special emphasis on repairing German-American relations.”

tapmag: Who’s blogging on Dialog International? What is your background, are you American, European, or both?

David: My name is David Vickrey and I am an American who has had close ties with Germany.  Formerly, I was a banker in Frankfurt and New York, working on cross-border investment opportunities.  I also have a strong interest in German history and literature, and wrote my doctoral dissertation on the Weimar Republic.

Today I live with my family on the coast of Maine in New England and work as a business consultant to technology companies. I am also an adjunct professor of German at a local college.

tapmag: Which topics do you write about? Who do you write for?

David: I write about books, painting, theology, politics, history – especially if there is a transatlantic angle.  Increasingly I find myself writing about literary topics, since contemporary German literature is all but unknown in America today.  Only 3% of books published each year in the US are translated from other languages; in Germany it is more than 35%, and American writers are well-known there.

tapmag: Why are you blogging? Why did you start in the first place?

David: I started blogging around the time of the US invasion of Iraq, when relations between Germany and the US were at a low point. I wanted to create a forum where Germans and Americans could meet and discuss our common interests.

tapmag: Soccer or Football?

David: Actually, I am a basketball fan (college and pro). I’m very pleased that the success of Dirk Nowitzki with the Dallas Mavericks has made basketball much more popular in Germany (although I  am a Boston Celtics fan).

tapmag: What is your favorite article on Dialog International? Which one is the most clicked?

David: I have two favorite articles: one on Salka Viertel and the other on Dorothy Thompson, two women who, in very different ways,  did so much to save the lives of the greatest German and Austrian writers, composers, and artists during the Nazi period by getting them  passage to America and helping them survive here. Their sacrifice and courage need to be much better known.

The most clicked article is on Barack Obama’s half-sister Auma.

tapmag: Jesus or Obama?

David: I am a Christian who canvassed door-to-door for Barack Obama in New Hampshire. I see no contradiction in that.

tapmag: What question would you have liked to answer? And what would be your answer to it?

What is the most beautiful German poem?  Answer forthcoming in a blog post soon.

tapmag: Tatort or The Wire?

David: Cannot get Tatort where I live.  Love The Sopranos.

tapmag: Your favorite blog?

David: For politics I like NachDenkSeiten for the articles and links; my favorite American political blogger is Matthew Yglesias because of the amazing array of topics he covers.

For cultural topics I follow Sign&Sight (too bad it scaled back) and Lyrikzeitung.

tapmag: Thanks.

You can find all the blog posts of this series here.

It was founded by the Atlantische Initiative in 2007, and is an excellent starting point to explore global issues and politics on a broad scale. David Lebhar was so nice to answer our set of questions on behalf of the Atlantic Community editorial team.

tapmag: Who’s blogging on Atlantic-community.org? What is your background, are you American, European, or both?

David: Atlantic-community.org is the budding, online, open think tank on transatlantic and foreign policy. It’s a social utility where anyone can publish their own articles, post comments and read the latest from our members on today’s crucial issues – all in our Open Think Tank.

We feature articles from experts, political leaders, students, journalists, professors, think tankers and civil servants from America, Europe and all over the world. Our editorial team is also an international bunch currently hailing from the United States, France, Germany, Finland, Cyprus, and the UK – check us out at About Us.

Becoming a member is free and easy, and there is no better way to connect to political experts, students, professors, professionals and engaged citizens all over the world.

tapmag: Which topics do you write about? Who do you write for?

David: Atlantic-community.org focuses on transatlantic foreign policy and broader issues of international affairs. Most recently we have covered issues such as Davos, Afghanistan, the financial crisis, the Gaza conflict and new systems of global governance in a changing world order.

The editorial team synthesizes the best arguments and policy recommendations from articles and comments into Atlantic Memos. These memos are distributed to high level decision makers throughout Europe and North America in an effort help set the transatlantic agenda through collective intelligence.

tapmag: Why are you blogging? Why did you start in the first place?

David: Atlantic-community.org believes that the challenges of the twenty-first century can only be overcome if Europe and North America work together. As political decisions are increasingly made at the international level, social platforms for political debate need to become more global as well – our online platform is ideal for such a cause.

tapmag: Soccer or Football?

David: Aren’t they the same thing?

tapmag: Which one is your favorite article on Atlantic-community.org? Which one is the most clicked?

David: My favourite article appearing on the front page of the website is our exclusive video interview with Maliha Zulfacar, Afghan Ambassador to Germany. Our most clicked article is our latest poll: Which Topics Should be Prioritized on the Transatlantic Agenda? Vote Here!

tapmag: Jesus or Obama?

David: We all know the only way to decide this type of thing is through Google Fights:

• Obama: 340,000,000 results
• Jesus: 185,000,000 results

tapmag: Which question would you have liked to answer?

David: If your blog were a person, what would it eat for lunch?

tapmag: Tatort or The Wire?

David: Gotta love the “retro” introduction on Tatort!

tapmag: What is your favorite blog?

David: I don’t know if The Onion counts as a blog, but if it does, it’s definitely on the top of my list.

tapmag: Thanks!

You can find all the blog posts of this series here.

Frank-Walter Steinmeier, the Foreign Minister, Vice-Chancellor,  Social Democratic candidate for Chancellor and all around Obama fanboy started the discussion by preemptively offering to accept some detainees even though the new U.S. administration hadn’t even asked (although they are expected to). This deeply offended Wolfgang Schäuble, Christian Democratic Minister of the Interior, who wasn’t consulted beforehand.  He apparently considers them to be a security risk to Germany, but then, people in general are a security risk in the eyes of Schäuble.

Schäuble got cover from his nerdy sidekick Wolfgang Bosbach, vice chair of the CDU caucus,  who essentially told the United States., and I’m paraphrasing here, “you break it, you own it” on the Gitmo situation. (Karl-Theodor Maria Nikolaus Johann Jacob Philipp Franz Joseph Sylvester Freiherr von und zu Guttenberg, General Secretary of the Christian Social Union, also offered words of  support for Schäuble, but I’m only mentioning him so I can drop his incredibly hilarious name. Thank God we kicked the Kaiser out a long time ago!)

The debate exemplifies the difficulties Europe has in dealing with a post-Bush America. While the Europeans condemnation of Guantanamo Bay was nearly universal, they were equally glad that the U.S. was doing all the dirty work when dealing with captured terrorist suspects. For example, German Special Forces operating in Afghanistan were ordered to “restrain” captured individuals instead of arresting them because the latter would result in them being subjected to German law, which prohibits extradition when the individuals face torture or the death penalty. So when U.S. troops arrived at the scene, the Germans were supposed to “release” the captives for the Americans to arrest.

Now that President Obama by ordering the closure of Gitmo is actually doing what countless politicians in the Old World with good reason demanded, Europeans are mostly playing duck and cover. They don’t feel responsible for the 50 or so detainees that can’t be repatriated to their native countries for various reasons, never mind that many European governments participated in the war in Afghanistan and quite a few turned a blind eye to extraordinary rendition flights. Austria is hiding behind its laws, saying they limit asylum to refugees — and regrettably the Guantanamo inmates do not qualify. Great Britain says it has already done its share, by taking back British citizens held at Gitmo. Instead it graciously offered its expertise in dealing with the detainees.

But still, up to seven EU countries might be willing to accept a few inmates. At least some are doing their part. Others need to follow or Europe will once again show that it chickens out when things become difficult.

Obamas’s staff is planning a visit for the days following the NATO summit in early April. The President will be joined by his Secretary of the State, Hillary Clinton. Obama wants to thank the Berliners for their help during the election, the Focus assumes.

Back in July 2008, in the midst of the election, Obama drew a massive crowd to the Siegessäule, but did not deliver a particularly historic speech. The event will be remembered more for the passion he did spark with Berliners and maybe even for the provincial debate around the question where Obama will speak. His words were more directed at the television viewers and voters back home than at the 200,000 Berliners in front of him.

If he returns in April, there is no election holding him back on formulating a new understanding of transatlantic relations in the 21st century. Everything he might promise to the European public will be more than a campaign pledge; Obama’s word will carry the weight of his office. All that is a big if—it all depends on Obama’s intention to deliver more than a mere thank you note.

• faking numbers of Iraqi security forces
• hiring inexperienced personnel, or personnel with experience and qualifications completely unrelated to the job they were hired to do (National Security and Tennis, anyone?)
• decision making that was often carried out on the go, or by only few individuals without consultation of further expert opinions (Big Decisions, Little Debate)

The whole report can be accessed and searched via the New York Times website, where you can read all the outrageous information for yourself.

The report concludes with a part on “Lessons Learned”, and one can only hope that those lessons will be absorbed by the people in charge of the USA’s other war, as the article points out:

“The United States could soon have reason to consult this cautionary tale of deception, waste and poor planning, as both troop levels and reconstruction efforts in Afghanistan are likely to be stepped up under the new administration.”