tapmag thinks that the Eurovision Song Contest is a far too complex concept to be understood in American terms of entertainment shows. Americans watch American Idol to see good acts and funny rejection clips. Europeans tune in to Eurovision for a lot of reasons, but not to discover awe-inspiring new singers.

We want pseudofolkloristic bands in nonsense costumes, eurotrash glam from the Balkans, a sense of socially shared television moments that has been long gone since the Internet arrived, and of course one of the last places being reserved for Germany.

The Eurovision Song Contest is meta-show that allows us Europeans to reflect on our own awkward cultural backgrounds, giving us a chance to come to terms with the lowbrow elements of European culture. By laughing about our neighbors’ ridiculous ideas of a good show, we establish connections that foster understanding and solidarity which transcends borders.

But of course, it’s far easier to denounce this expression of humility, humanity and the understanding of dignity that arises from it as the simple lack of musical talent. Kent Jones, a little humbleness suits everyone, especially Americans.

The Scent Of A Human: Eau De Schwinn?

The Gray Lady wonders this morning if New York can truly (re)vert — or reinvent — itself into Neue Amsterdam via bikes. Her focus du jour is the Dutch “It” bicycle , and the question is that of how to look delicious(ly continental) while doing so.

It suggests looking like the guy pictured here… in which case I heartily approve.

However, trembling under those textiles is the unSPOKEn (10 point pun, don’t you agree?)dialogue in this aestheticised vision of a psuedoeuropean paean to fashion a la bicyclette: that is, that bicycling leaves one… shall we say… moist?

The “>LEED (Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design) standards from the USGBC (United States Green Building Council) — the official granter of “green” status to all things architecture and design — award points to both commercial and residential with bicycle parking facilities. So too does its pragmatism include SHOWERS in these aforementioned parking facilities, so as to allow one’s workers to… freshen up… before a day in the office.

But few of our offices have such amenities, and not everyone is going to stop at the gym before work. Besides, let’s be honest — many who bike do so for both environmental as well as financial reasons, not to mention to forego the sterile hamsterwheel-meets-club-con-meatmarket environment of many such facilities.

Which leaves us — even if we are riding lovely $1000 bikes and are nattily dressed — a little, well, RIPE. Remember all the things one hears about Europeans? In addition to fashion and food, there is also: unshaven women! wantonness! bidets! Yes folks, the Europeans [stage whisper]: touch themselves in that private place.  Every day.  To WASH. Which means a whole slew of things involving accepting dirt, sweat, autosexuality, the human production of juices and so forth and so on.

The real question to pose is: are we ready for the sweaty, higher libidoed, pungent masses? For it’s not something that turns me off — or most Continentals I’ve met, for that matter (don’t forget the wantonness!) but its something we at least keep the illusion of keeping out of the offices, schools, and other fine establishments. Restaurants, your patrons may comingle with your tantalizing aromas not only in their eau d’homme et femme avec cologne et parfum, but so too with eau de… homme et femme. Eau de NOUS. The smell… of US. And we may find that after dinner we want to… take someone home for dessert.

Walter Benjamin, writing in Paris in the 1930’s, queried:
“Who still knows, nowadays, where it was that in the last decade of the previous century women would offer to men their most seductive aspect, the most intimate promise of their figure? In the asphalted indoor arenas where people learned to ride bicycles. The women as cyclist competes with the cabaret singer for the place of honor on posters, and gives to fashion its most daring line.”

For Benjamin, and many of his contemporaries, the image of the fairer sex astride a bicycle was akin to the switch from sidesaddles to that same, er, mounted position in equestrian riding — a not only novel but radical, sexual one. And irregardless of which gender you might admire, there is a notably erotic element in the rosy cheek and heaving lung of the cyclist: when paired with a natty get up (for which Paris then as now was never lacking) the effect is nothing short of arousing.

The mood on the street as these two-wheeled darlings of athleticism and aesthetic aplomb change the pattern of our walking, the speed of our gaze, the rhythm of our breath and theirs — is undeniably HUMAN. They alter the staid concrete and breathe life into our humdrum hours — for there, amongst the mechanical carriages and caverns of steel and glass they move, darting in and out like sparrows, foxes teasing through the hunts’ hooves. And so begins a fissure in the financially-fashioned fabric of America.

When one visits Europe one can’t quite put a finger on what tickles the nose, the skin, what rides in the air of the cities there — is it to bold to suggest this invisible energy is directly linked to the long time tradition of the streets filled with bicycles? To put it shortly — yes. There is an unspoken, unmapped humanity that is exuded from masses of persons who are in very fact “auto-mobile”: a populism, a hint of revolution, an acceptance and demonstration of willed physical exertion. The biker says without a word: in my calves lies the power. Independence of movement releases one from the grid, from the preordained paths, from the nodes of mass transit and the standardized mapping of Place — and so too does the fabric of “knowledge” (what we know and how we know it) further unravel.

The question, then,  is not only what to wear to the Ball of Ourselves, but, are we ready for the party?

By L DeSilva-Johnson (via BrooWaha New York and her personal blog)

German swimming pool: Too many rules?

„President Obama’s approach to the financial crisis has been typically American — bold, improvisatory and on the fly. The Germans have been studied and measured, evincing a far greater trust than the Americans in their social-security system to patch the cracks in the foundation of their economy.“

„Of course that is due in part to the famed German aversion to excessive deficit spending, stemming from gut-level fear of a repeat of the hyperinflation of the 1920s. But there is also the German adherence to rules, love of a good plan and cautious, thoughtful approach when it slowly becomes apparent that a return trip to the drawing board may be necessary.“

It‘s true, we love rules. They make daily life more efficient. They enable us to drive our cars at top speed on the Autobahn, which means doing at least 200 kph (124 mph). This of course only works, if you can be sure that everyone will play according to the playbook, in this case the holy StVO. Slow drivers and trucks use the right lane, middle class cars drive in the middle lane, and the finest examples of German engineering are always to be found in the left – or express — lane. Tractors can use the shoulder, but no one else.

But do we actually think our economy can be handled like Autobahn traffic?

There are some points that speak to it. Economists like to say that when Americans drive a car against a wall, they try to figure out how to get around it as quickly as possible. Germans study the texture of the wall to find out how to dematerialize it. The idea that what was right just moments ago now is wrong, clearly causes discomfort to the German soul.

But does the love for analysis and discussion accurately predict the response of the Merkels and Steinbrücks to the economci downturn? No, perfectly epitomized in the latest addition to the German dictionary, „Abwrackprämie“. The measure gives buyers of new cars a € 2,500 subsidy if they scrap their old car in return.

The procedure is highly unfair. Other Industries have no chance to lay their hands on the stimulus money. Upmarket carmakers do not see their sales spur, because it is mainly buyers of compact cars who fall for the bait. Everyone who always wanted to buy a new car but has no old one at hand, will remain without a ride. Even used car dealers and repair shops complain, because their markets are shrinking due to less old cars on the streets and fewer demand for used cars.

However, the government has just decided to extend the budget and timeline for the program. This despite concerns from the opposition that the measure merely shifts demand from later years to today — demand that will be missing during a possible economic upswing in the future. It’s efficiency is contested as well, as many of the newly bought cars are manufactured in Eastern Europe and Asia. This attempt to get the economy going again clearly speaks against the careful deliberation Germans are supposed to like so much.

Then there is the fact the German economic system is better prepared to take a hit in bust years. The vast provision of welfare and unemployment pay (compared to the U.S.) is a sort of automatic stimulus package in its own right. These automatic stabilizers start to work as soon as the first wave of lay-offs hits the Federal Employment Offices. Then, the government budget increases even without the need to pass stimulus packages, simply because more people access these funds.

On the other side of the Atlantic, the U.S. Congress has to pass more spending bills to reach a higher level of spending. Plus, the U.S. state governments are subject to stricter spending rules which prevent excessive deficit spending on state level, thus exacerbating the problem. The bottom line is: Germany has to do less to match U.S. spending levels during a recession simply because we have a more developed welfare system.

Berlin-based journalist Ben Perry points out some more arguments against the idea that the German love of rules is behind the slow response to the crisis:

„The fact is, though, this is caricature and a tired caricature at that. For every German who wouldn’t dare cheat on his taxes, I can show you one who has made tax evasion an art form (let alone running off to Switzerland, as Kulish mentions). If there is such a strong desire for order, could someone please tell me why Germans are completly incapable of forming a simple single file line, ever? What’s so orderly about all the sidewalk dog crap?—something I don’t complain about but plenty of folks do. And on the government level, America’s essentially two-party system looks practically monolithic compared to the chaotic jumble of Germany’s multi-party coalition makers.“

In the end, as Ben Perry also notes, if the Germans are reluctant, risk-averse spenders, who prefer government bonds to the stock market, what does this tell us about Americans in the light of their trillion dollar stimulus packages? That they are imprudent spenders, who delay their financial problems until their credit card bill hits them over the hat and they have to go into foreclosure? Maybe there is a kernel of truth hidden in every beaten cliché.

By Kolja Langnese

The First Ladies of Fashion - Screenshot from vanityfair.com

Now, one would think that when world leaders from 20 and 28 countries, respectively, meet within a week, there would be important issues to discuss. Such as how to save our economies in midst of the worldwide financial crises, how to save Afghanistan from chaos, or how to save the financial industry from new regulations (this last point was only on the agenda of some participants, and seems to pose a contradiction to point no. 1).

But then a graceful, tall, pretty first lady entered the picture and everyone was momentarily blinded. The result was that the focus of the media outlets shifted from world conflicts (they’re so hard to convey to the fast-clicking internet crowd anyway) to Mrs. Obama’s outfits. Scandalously, she wore a cardigan to meet the Queen! This prompted Bonnie Fuller to scream that Michelle Obama has lost her mind! and is suddenly “a fashion disaster”. Wow, good thing we talked about that. Afghanistan – who? (What might be added: Bonnie Fuller – who?)

The Obamamania caught on with “serious” news outlets as well, even though their interpretation was different. Christoph von Marschall of Der Tagesspiegel concludes that the visit to Europe “stabilizes her position.” Michelle Obama’s, that is. As U.S. First Lady, it’s apparently essential to have a stronghold in Europe.  Even the complicated links of international relations were broken down to the questions of which first lady dressed better. The result of this “fashion face-off” varies depending on the observer, so at least the two issues have one thing in common.

In all the marvelling, some publications completely lost their heads and even made German Chancellor Angela Merkel part of the outfit competition. The subheading to their picture (see screenshot) says: “Barack and Michelle Obama pose with French president Nicolas Sarkozy and Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, along with other NATO leaders and their wives at the Kurhaus in Baden-Baden, Germany.” Thanks, Vanity Fair, for informing me that Joachim Sauer has taken over government activites from his wife. I almost missed that.

The Afghans were left to save themselves, but I’m not sure anyone noticed.

Update, April 5: Time has written an interesting analysis about the dissonance between Barack and Michelle Obama’s worlds.

By Jessica Binsch

First Loves in Polaroids on ourfirstloves.com

The site ourfirstloves.com has collected many such stories, from falling in love with spaghetti to memories of first pets. They’re funny, heart-warming, and sure to make you laugh. There’s also someone who shares my first love. His name is Frank and he is 80 years old, but I think I have to visit him someday because he has what I want: an own library.

By Jessica Binsch

It is highly recommended reading for everyone trying to keep up with transatlantic culture, global politics, and European and American perceptions of the significant other. Edited by a three men team, including an alumnus of the Free University of Berlin, Atlantic Review has drawn a sizeable audience, as evidenced by the lively discussion surrounding each post in the comments.

tapmag: Who’s blogging on Atlantic Review? What is your background, are you American, European, or both?

Joerg: One American (Kyle Atwell, California) and two Europeans (Nanne Zwagerman, Netherlands and Joerg Wolf, Germany)

tapmag: Which topics do you write about? Who do you write for?

Joerg: All things transatlantic, but especially security issues (NATO, Afghanistan, Russia) and US commentaries on European policies and what Europeans say about the US.

Nanne: We don’t have a detailed concept of a target audience. We write for anyone who is interested in transatlantic relations. I think the blog does a good job of staying accessible but also a bit serious, and I know we have a lot of interesting readers.

tapmag: Why are you blogging? Why did you start in the first place?

Joerg: To promote critical, but fair analysis about the United States and Europe, which is needed to strengthen transatlantic relations in the 21^st century.

tapmag: Soccer or Football?

Joerg: Soccer.

Nanne: Snooker for watching, pool for playing.

tapmag: Which one is your favorite article on “Atlantic Review”? Which one is the most clicked?

Nanne: Our top two posts are about murder rates in the US vs. Germany and a youtube video from the EU that shows European sex. This only shows what people who come to us through search engines care about.

Our third most clicked post is also one of my favourites, and that’s a detailed post about how a German passenger was defamed in the ‘United 93’ movie. This is about addressing stereotypes that exist on both sides of the Atlantic, which is also an important part of what the Atlantic Review has done.

tapmag: Jesus or Obama?

Joerg: Nope, Forrest Gump it is.

Nanne: You’re sure you don’t mean Senator Fulbright, Joerg?

tapmag: Which question would you have liked to answer?

Nanne: Can German bands rock?

Joerg: Can the Dutch win in soccer?

tapmag: Tatort or The Wire?

Joerg: Neither for me.

Nanne: I haven’t watched The Wire.

tapmag: What is your favorite blog?

Nanne: talkingpointsmemo.com by Joshua Micah Marshall & team. This is actually the first blog I started reading, which was in 2003. It’s an example of how far you can take blogging and one of the best sources on DC politics.

Joerg: Tapmag, of course. There are so many blogs that I like for different topics and moods. Here are some of them: New Atlanticist, The Moderate Voice, USA Erklärt, Lifehacker.

tapmag: Thanks.

You can find all blog posts of this series on transatlantic blogs here.

Die Tagesschau rühmt sich derweil, das Video mit den letzten Minuten des Täters nicht gezeigt zu haben – wohl aber ein verstörtes junges Mädchen – während das ZDF erklärt, das “Fälschen im Internet kinderleicht” sei (Video). Na sowas. Fast alle Medien haben inzwischen Fotos des Täters, Bilder seines Elternhauses, nennen teilweise die Adresse eben jenen Hauses, und Bild schießt wie immer den Vogel ab und druckt am Tag nach dem Amoklauf Bilder angeblicher Opfer (!!).

Viele Politiker ergehen sich ganz betroffen in Verbotsideen – Sportwaffen verbieten, Ballerspiele verbieten, Einlasskontrolle an Schulen. Einige dieser Ideen mögen sinnvoll sein, doch die tieferen Ursachen einer solchen Tat berühren sie nicht. Wie es mit 17 war, daran können sich viele scheinbar nicht mehr erinnern.

Die “richtigen” Journalisten haben trotzdem nichts besseres zu tun, als auf den “Pöbel” (stern) zu schimpfen, der seine ungefilterte Meinung und – oh schreck! – unbestätigte Gerüchte über Twitter und andere Plattformen verbreitet. Das machen die “seriösen” Medien natürlich nicht. Dem ist eigentlich nichts hinzuzufügen, doch einige haben es immer noch nicht kapiert.

Nachtrag, 16.3.: Die letzten Tage reichten offenbar nicht zur Selbstreflektion. Der Spiegel setzt nochmal einen drauf, mit Tim K. auf dem Titel. Wenn das mal keine verantwortungsvolle Berichterstattung ist. Natürlich aus reinem Informationsinteresse, nicht etwa aus Voyeurismus (siehe Bild 3 und 4). Da sind die Fotografen des Spiegels nämlich viel besonnener als andere Medienvertreter. Man weiß zu berichten:

“Am Freitagmorgen kam es dort [an dem Ort, wo die Opfer aufgebahrt waren] nach Polizeiangaben zu einem pietätlosen Vorfall: ‘Reporter versuchten, sich den Särgen zu nähern’, sagt [der Leiter der Kriminalpolizei Waiblingen] Michelfelder. ‘Es kam zu sehr unschönen Momenten.’”

Gut, dass der Spiegel sich dem nicht angeschlossen hat. Oder so ähnlich.

Nachtrag, 21.5.: Der Presserat hat die Bild-Zeitung und Bild Online für ihre sensationsheischende und pietätlose Berichterstattung gerügt. Meiner Meinung nach hätte praktisch jede zweite deutschsprachige Zeitung und/oder deren Internetableger eine Rüge vertragen. Aber die Bild, immerhin.

Apparently, a guy named Michael mentioned in a respond to a friend’s Facebook status message that he’d had “veeery bad experiences” with a certain video production company, and advised other to stay aways from them.

A couple of days later, a lawyer for said company contacts him with a cease and desist letter, demanding a correction of his status, a written statement saying he will refrain from spreading any such “credit-damaging statements” in the future, and € 720 for the lawyers services. Read more on the story and its background here.

Now, I have to wonder – what ever happened to free speech? Obviously, Michael was expressing an opinion, not a factual statement. The story is now spreading online, for example here and here. I really wonder when companies will finally realize that slamming people with attorney statements and damage payments gets them absolutely nowhere. Or, as a commentator puts it:

“gee, these companies, always the same – they’re stuck in the old times. Hey, if you threaten someone with a lawsuit these days, you’ve already lost.”

Unfortunately, there’s lots of money to be made in making unsuspecting citizens pay “damages” for their statements (rapper Bushido knows that, too). In this age of rapid communication, a simple email seems to be asking to much from some people. They’d rather bring out the “guns” right away.

Oh, and just to be clear: this is an expression of opinion, so keep your lawyers at bay.

In Germany, the organization is named Teach First Germany, and is thus, at least by name, closer to its British equivalent Teach First. But the mission is the same as the US orginial’s: Sending highly motivated candidates with strong academic credentials and active community involvement to poor and disadvantaged communities. There, the “fellows” will teach for two years, trying to engage and motivate the children in their schools who have been left behind by the public educational system.

The idea is based on the peace corps, which is why participants in the US are referred to as “corps members”. In Germany, the less military-sounding “fellow” was chosen. This was not the only change necessary to translate the program to the Germany environment. Kaija Landsberg, the energetic 29-year old founder of Teach First Germany, makes sure to point out that unlike in the US, Teach First participants will not fill regular teacher positions in Germany. They are there as additional support, to organize after-school activities, extra help, parent-teacher meetings and the like. Teaching classes will be a side activity, not the focal point of the engagement.

Participants often have no former teaching experience

The young professionals, while excellent students, will mostly hold degrees not related to teaching. They’ll receive a three-month intensive training before they are placed in the schools. Feedback sessions, mentors and professional development are planned to help them improve their skills throughout the two years.

Still, teacher unions are critical of the approach. They fear that regular jobs will be cut nonetheless and demand that the money spend on Teach First be used to hire recent graduates that went through the official teacher training programs (on a side note, teacher training is more standardized in Germany. You have to have a college degree in education in order to get into the teaching profession).

Who profits from Teach First, asks the teacher’s union

Essentially, the teacher’s union in Berlin brands the program as more of an assessment centre for socially handicapped upper-class kids than an effort to help disadvantaged schools and children. (I’ve written a more extensive report on this subject at Tagesspiegel.de)

Also, it is no easy task ahead of the junior teachers. Corps members of Teach for America blog on teachfor.us about their experience, detailing hardships and joyous moments alike. Stolen computers, constant disruption, more than a year behind the expected reading level – but getting students involved in activities they always rejected and seeing their progress seems to make the downsides worth it.

“Mr. D”, teaching music in the Mississippi delta, tells of participating in a debate contest and writes of his students:

“They were in the zone for the entire 2 hours, scrambling at the end to try to finish. They couldn’t stop talking about it after they handed in their work and one student said “Mr. D!!! My brain hurts after doing that!!” You have no idea how happy it made me to hear that.”

Program to start in three German states in the fall

Apparently, the applicants in Germany hope for similar experiences. I talked to one who said she wanted to be “a cool teacher” – a valid goal considering the German teaching force has a median age of about 50. She also wanted to empower the children, giving them enough knowledge so that they wouldn’t be kicked around by the system.

Teach First Germany moves state-by-state, unlike Teach for America, who targets specific areas. Berlin will be one of the first three German states to employ Teach First participants in the fall, the other two being Hamburg and Northrhine-Westfalia. Unfortunately, there are quite enough schools in the city that’d need some encouragement.

By Jessica Binsch

Head to teachfirst.de for more information and application materials.

It is these misconceptions and misunderstandings Scot W. Stevenson likes to target with his blog USA erklärt. Scot explains everything from humoristic differences, administrative particularities, and popcultural references that Germans have a hard time to understand. Post after post, using his (and his parents’) wide knowledge about German and American culture, his readers are lead towards a more accurate picture of America.

Whatever he discusses, he never fails to entertain on his one-man quest to bring cultures together and to proof that literally anything can be explained using Buffy quoations. Scot W. Stevenson was deservedly nominated for the Grimme Online Award in 2007 and the Golden Prometheus in 2008.

tapmag: Who’s blogging on USA erklärt? What is your background, are you
American, European, or both?

Scot: I’m a 40-year-old American who has been living in Germany since he was six. I live near Berlin, Germany with my wife, two kids, and an old, friendly cat.

tapmag: Which topics do you write about? Who do you write for?

Scot: I try to explain the United States to Germans, as far as it can be explained. So I’ll do a little piece about Halloween, about what the President can or cannot do, why root beer isn’t beer, who the Lone Ranger is, or why you should never, ever put sugar on your popcorn.

When asked, I’ll always say that I write for people who are interested in the U.S., with the ideal of not picking sides—if you hate America, you should be able to find background here just as if you love it. There are enough pro/anti-American blogs out there, and I wanted to do one that just presents the facts.

However, I really write for myself, because…

tapmag: Why are you blogging? Why did you start in the first place?

Scot: …it is so much fun. I’ve learned an enormous amount about the U.S., because the blog has forced me to read all the stuff that I always avoided. I get to make terrible word puns and spend pages talking
about the Swimsuit Issue of Sports Illustrated. I started—well, my excuse to start—were all the mistakes that people kept making about the United States. Somebody should do something about that, I thought
to myself, and since there was nobody else around, I figured I’d have to do it myself.

tapmag: Soccer or Football?

Scot: Football. American Football, that is.

tapmag: What is your favorite article on USA erklärt? Which one is the most clicked?

Scot: My favorite article is about Halloween. I think it captures a lot of what makes this such a special holiday and explains why it is spreading throughout the world.

The most popular one is “Warum Amerikaner (Briten, Kanadier) nicht sagen, was sie meinen” which explains why Americans, Brits, and other English speakers don’t always say what they mean and mean what they say. This is a big thing for Germans, who are honest to a fault.

tapmag: Jesus or Obama?

Scot: Jesus.

tapmag: What question would you have liked to answer? And what would be your answer to it?

Scot: Why do you put all those Buffy references in your blog?—Because it is a great show to explain stuff with, because the humor is great, and because it gives me an excuse to watch old episodes without giving the impression I’m obsessed. Well, not too obsessed, that is.

tapmag: Tatort or The Wire?

Scot: I’ll have to go with Tatort since I haven’t gotten around to The Wire yet. I haven’t even gotten around to most of Navy CIS yet … in fact, I’m still missing lots and lots of Futurama episodes.

tapmag: Your favorite blog?

Scot: I Can Has Cheezburger. Of course, I don’t look at the pictures, I only read the text.

tapmag: Thanks.

Scot: Thanks for having me.

You can find all the blog posts of this series here.